Obviously, I'm in the Wrong Line of Work...

...or at least trying to go at it the wrong way!
From Publisher's Lunch:

Gaby Rodriguez's untitled memoir about her experience faking a pregnancy for 6 1/2 months as a high school senior to determine the sterotypes of unwed teen mothers, unveiling the results at a student assembly weeks before graduation, to Zareen Jaffrey at Simon & Schuster Children's, in a pre-empt, for publication in early 2012, by Sharlene Martin at Martin Literary Management (NA).
Foreign rights: Taryn Fagerness Agency

Now, lemme get this straight.
This girl perpetrates a fraud on her high school, on her friends, on heaven knows who else. Then retroactively (is anyone actually doubting this?) decides it had a Great Social Purpose, and that purpose will be to (of course) point the finger at those people around her who no doubt "judged" her unjustly (meaning they probably gave her some impression along the way of "how could you be so stupid?", which would be entirely justified), and Incriminate Us All Yet Again For Being Pigheaded Closedmineded People...

...and she not only isn't kicked out of school, but she's given a book contract in a pre-empt?

The only people stupider than her high school for allowing this and spotlighting it in an assembly are the publishers and agents who lined up to get this project. And get this: it's going to be in the children's book end of the business.

Yeah, that warms the cockles of my  heart. I'll bet it does yours, too.

A year after this book comes out, there'll be a rash of kids faking all kinds of things with the intent of getting book contracts out of them--or, actually, in attempts to get the money for the books out of them, since there's no way in hell this kid's writing this book entirely herself--and sociologists, school psychologists, and YA experts will all be frowning earnestly and Wondering Why this has become some sort of odd trend.

Someone needs to go back to Child Psychology 101 and do a refresher course, methinks. You know--the part about "If you reward bad behavior with attention, it will continue"?

Yeah, that part.
But...never mind. That was clearly wasted on you the first time you read it.

So it's clear I've completely missed the boat.
I need to go find a fraud to perpetrate. Obviously, writing great stories and sending them out to these places doesn't get attention...but perpetrating a fraud, and then dropping the word "memoir" out there to tell everyone about it, does.
Silly me.
I'll do better from now on.

Happy Fourth of July, everybody. Don't we live in a GREAT publishing country?

Janny

This Has Been All Over the Web...for Good Reason :-)

A nice tie-in to the way I normally begin my Wednesdays...

Eucharistic "Flash Mob" in Britain
Enjoy!

Janny

What I'm Doing This Morning...

Yanno, if you gotta weed and cultivate and mulch and water and harvest...you may as well have this music in your head to work by...no?

Enjoy!
Janny

Why I'm Glad I'm Not a "Professional Catholic"

Sometimes, you think you'd like to be in a certain circle...until you see what happens within it. And then you thank God you weren't really in there in the first place.

For awhile, I could have been called a "professional Catholic": I made my living doing work that directly connected to the Church, was designed to support the Church, and enlightened people about where the Church stood on things...or at least where some predominant Church minds tended to stand on things. I didn't mind the work that I did--for what it was. I edited nonfiction trade and devotional books, books that I considered to be, on the whole, pretty worthwhile and informative reads.

For while, I also thought it would be really, really neat to be a recognized "Catholic blogger." (After all, a bunch of them got invited to Rome a couple of months ago--great work if you can get it. :-)) In this wonderful medium of electronic communication, with the gift of words God has given me, surely that'd be an outstanding way to serve my Church as well...even after my other "professional Catholic" job ended.

But there's a problem with that status.

Nowadays, being a "professional Catholic" has gained the additional obligation (at least seemingly in most of the "professional" minds) of "engaging the marketplace." In other words, "professional Catholics"--among them many Catholic bloggers--are, more or less, expected to be journalists. And pundits. And, sometimes, activists.

Unfortunately, that much power and prestige...has not been a good idea in some hands. And the result looks bad on all of us.

For those of you unfamiliar with the reasons I say this, Google the name "Father John Corapi."

This man was unashamedly aligned with the teaching Magisterium of the Church...and had a colorful enough past (and present) that he wasn't afraid to call a spade a spade. He frequently called bishops out for doctrinal nonsense and/or heretical behavior--something that probably didn't make him any friends at the USCCB, I'm sure. (Which to me is a point in his favor, not the other way around. :-) ) But for 20 years, this faithful priest taught solid Catholic catechism, devotion to Mary, the power of prayer--especially the Rosary--and a host of other good Catholic Church belief that many of us have been starving for in parishes that seemingly have reduced Catholicism to social justice, "be nice to each other," and butterflies and rainbows.

So of course...someone had to silence him. And someone did.

The particulars of this case are still not all clear, but you can Google the name and get enough of the gist of what's gone on around this man to wonder about him and the Church he loves. (As in the old quote from the saint, "If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them.") What's pertinent to this post, however, is the role that "professional Catholics" have played in supporting this man, praying for him, assuming he's innocent until proven guilty, or any of the other things they urge us as Catholic Christians to extend to our fellow human beings as part of following Jesus.

Except they haven't. Indeed..."ravening wolves" got nothin' on these folks.

I have rarely seen vitriol from the secular press any worse than some of what Catholic bloggers are heaping upon this man for what he's opting to do at this point. I have seldom seen the level of judgmentalism, Phariseeism, and holier-than-thou crap thrown around--even in such well-known anti-Catholic papers as the New York Times--as I've seen from some so-called fellow "Catholics" out there, in some places I used to trust for faithful discourse on faith issues. I didn't always agree with some of them, but at least I could see where they were coming from.
Unfortunately, now I can, too. And where they're coming from...I don't want to be.

So I'm thankful at this point that my heart has led me away from "engaging the markeplace"--if what I'm seeing from these people is a result of doing so. And I'm thankful that, as a result of my dwelling on storytelling and other parable-like activity to the exclusion of dealing in current events...I will probably never be taken seriously enough as a "Catholic blogger" to even be on the radar of "professional Catholics" out there.

Frankly, from where I sit now, I can't imagine why anyone would want to be.

Thoughts?
Janny

The Way Christian Fiction Oughta Be....

...including Catholic fiction, too, for that matter.
You want to know how to write good old-fashioned story, from the viewpoint of faith? Then look up Rochelle Krich--or as she's known on some earlier books, Rochelle Majer Krich. If that name doesn't sound like a typical Germanic-WASP-Amish storyteller's name...congratulations.

The girl is Jewish.
Orthodox Jew, in fact, if she is writing heroines who are like herself (as most of us do).
So how is this the way Christian fiction oughta be, if the person writing it is Jewish?

Let me backtrack a bit.

Recently, I dipped into a book that was highly touted in Christian circles. It's not a new book, by any means, but it was and has been raved about for years...by an author who basically "owns" one of the major Christian publishing houses. If I said her name, and you know Christian fiction, you'd recognize it.

I avoided this woman's work--I admit it. I avoided it partially because of the perverse notion I have that if everyone is raving too much about someone's work, I suspect that either they're all her friends or they all wanna be...and partially because, by nature, I'm a contrarian. You can bet that out of all the bestselling authors in the world, I'll like one or two, be bored by another bunch, and despise one or two at the other end of the spectrum.

And it must also be said that when it comes to bestsellers--especially Christian bestsellers--I am not impressed by the overall body of work. There are a handful of exceptions; I so wanted this gal's work to be one of the handful. I wanted to be proven wrong. And, for an immensely pleasurable time in the book, I was.

For a long ways into the story, it was exceptional. It was full of flawed people who sinned all over the place; it was full of dark murky things people had to "get over" and people who couldn't get past some of those dark murky things. It had fearful people as well as faithful people--sometimes in the same skin. So far, so good...until the last couple of chapters.

At that point, God was reaching into these characters' lives in some very real ways, they were coming closer to Him, and so they had a lot of questions to ask. And they started asking them of the central "Christian" godly woman character in the piece. And she sat down and started answering them.

What followed was something like a dozen pages (I don't know exactly how many; I gave up!) of what we Catholics would have called "Catechism class." Three major women characters in the book sat and talked theology. They sat and talked why God allowed certain things to happen. Why their lives had been the way they had been for the previous, oh, 300 pages or so. The beauty of Jesus' redemption of them all. Whether they could trust God or not. What would happen if they did. Did they need God's help? How could God love them? Was it all for real?

They became talking heads, spouting obligatory Bible truths, and the story stopped dead.
I realized it some distance into the discussion--about three pages or so--when I suddenly looked up from the page and said, "Wait a minute. Has anyone moved from a chair? Has anything happened in these last three pages besides three talking heads having Sunday school? And for whose benefit is this?"

Well, dear reader, the clear answer to that is...it's for your benefit. Yes, in case you hadn't gotten the message that God Loves You No Matter What, Yes, Even You, Yes, No Matter Where Or Who You Are, Yes, Just Trust Him--a message you definitely would have gotten by the way the characters' lives had interacted previous to this, especially the main "saved" character and her frequent spoutings of mini-Bible truths--the author decided to Lay It All Out Here And Show You How Marvelous This Christian Faith Is, By Golly.

But if you would rather the story have kept its intention and let you see that played out the rest of the way in the characters' lives....
Tough.

The author and editors of this fell right into the all-too-common trap of, apparently, believing that for Christian fiction to be really Christian, by golly, you'd better have That Gospel Truth Spelled Out In Plain English So That Your Reader Can Get Saved Reading Your Book...Even If You Have To Stop The Book Dead To Do It, Because It's Too Important To Let Slide, And God Knows We Can't Trust People To Be Intelligent Enough To "Get" That From Our Storyline Alone.

So they took a compelling, absorbing read and turned it into pap.
Just that fast.

This happens so often in Christian fiction that it's become a cliche in itself. And don't even get me started about most Catholic fiction--with a few notable exceptions, it's even worse. Not with the Gospel presentation, so to speak--"conversion scenes" as a rule aren't our stumbling blocks. But if the Catholic is actually writing from the POV of being faithful to the Magisterium--rare enough in itself--all too often, the book is little more than a treatise on Fatima and/or the End Times prophecies and how This World Has Already Gone To Hell, So Get Out That Holy Water And That Rosary OR ELSE.

Like I said...from potentially intelligent story to pap, in one easy and unfortunate step.

Enter the second book from my library bag that week: Rochelle Krich's BLUES IN THE NIGHT.

As a matter of fact, you should do that precise thing: enter the book. As in go to the library, check it out, and enter the world of Molly Blume and Rochelle Krich as her creator. Especially if you're a mystery buff at all--or a crime-solving buff at all. And who isn't, between Law & Order and CSI and all their spinoffs?

Because Molly Blume isn't just any ordinary mystery heroine. She's a published author of true crime stories...and an observant Orthodox Jew...who finds herself embroiled in solving real-life crimes as well. She says regular daily prayers, keeps kosher, and stops her work and ordinary everyday activities for Shabbat. She is very human--which means she's at times flawed, insecure, snarky, scared, and vulnerable...and also sweet, considerate, compassionate, and principled.

But most of all, she's a woman of faith, a faith as integral to her character as her hair color and height and personal baggage. In other words, she's a real woman, and a real Jew--unlike the Pollyanna Christians, Amish bonnet-babes, and/or wild-eyed borderline-personality Catholics we often encounter in so much of what attempts to be "faith-based" fiction. Yes, she's different. Yes, she's countercultural. But she isn't written that way so a reader will get A Message through the story. It's simply who she is, and the stories unfold in the ways they do because of the inevitability that a woman of faith--this particular faith--will have certain approaches to life that will make her story turn out in a different way from one in which there is no faith element present.

It's interesting to note that Ms. Krich's books aren't categorized as "religious fiction." That's because they're not. They're books peopled with Orthodox Jewish folks, they give you a fascinating glimpse into a life and a people many of us know almost nothing about...but make no mistake. They're not tracts. They're stories. And danged good ones, to boot. As in not-put-downable.

Which is a heck of a lot better than I can say for 99% of Christian fiction, past or present.

What we're talking about is special stuff, people: story, first, last, and always...with faith as an integral, inseparable, and sometimes determinant element--and with no need whatsoever to preach.
It's what we as Christians writing fiction ought to be doing.
Unfortunately, we still don't get that.
So I'd recommend we get to know Molly Blume, and see how to do it right.


Thoughts?
Janny

Why You Don't Want to Be a Betty Neels Heroine

Okay, now, that title ought to get a few people's attention. :-)

From the get-go, let me say this is not an anti-Neels post. This woman was the bestselling author Harlequin had for YEARS, until her death in 2001. All told, she was named as the author of something like 150 books--and she didn't start writing until she was older than I am now. (!) (Yes, I say "named as author." There's a reason for that, which is a whole 'nuther subject.) I myself have several dozen of those books in my possession and have read several more than that, books which for one reason or another didn't "do it" for me. But overall, yes...I can see why this woman was a bestseller. So I'm not here to pan her style, or her stories, per se.

I have, however, come to realize that there's a danger to internalizing these books and their style as much as I found myself doing for awhile--and still have to fight against today. The fact is, a reader who sees Neels' heroines attain true love time after time will start to think, "Hmmm. It worked for this gal, and there are so many of these books written just this way that I'll bet at least some of this is true to life. Maybe that's the way a woman needs to behave in order to get what she needs in this life."

I'm here to tell you that--attractive as that notion might be to many people--that way lies danger.

Let me explain.

A typical Betty Neels heroine is young--although sometimes "not so young" (as in, she may have reached the ripe old unmarried age of 28 or 29)--and basically without much by way of family in the world. If she's not an orphan, she has relatives better forgotten: evil stepmothers, evil stepbrothers, half-sisters who are manipulative and shady, selfish parents who treat her like a slave--so when the hero steps into her life, often it's because she's at the end of a rope and needs a rescuer.

Now, again, there's nothing inherently wrong with that; it's a premise upon which many a romantic tale is based. However, where these gals start to rub many, many people the wrong way is in the aspect of their personality best described as "serene," "calm," or "placid"--even when they're being stepped upon in some of the most egregious ways imaginable. These gals can be lied about, insulted, put down to their faces, manipulated, and ordered around, and they smile and take it. While many times they do speak up for themselves in a "quiet, unassuming" fashion...still, the people around them in the story, even the heroes, are generally allowed to get away with bloody freakin' interpersonal murder on these women...and the way they deal with it is presented as the way a real lady behaves...and earns true love.

You know, of course, that in the end, this heroine's quiet, unassuming nature will prove she's a superior and more feminine character, the perfect wife for the hero to cosset, adore, protect, and provide every convenience for...so if you're a Neels fan, you chuckle and watch the heroine give as good as she gets, in her own mouselike way. But for 200 pages before she finally hits pay dirt--if you read enough of these things--sometimes, you just wanna slap her upside the head and say, "Wake up, you little idiot. Don't let these people manipulate you that way! Speak up for yourself!"

...because in real life, being sweet, unassuming, and docile--conducting your life "without fuss," as Neels is fond of putting it--won't always pay off in the handsome doctor spiriting you away to one of his many mansions to be cosseted, adored, and protected.

Sometimes, it'll just mean you keep getting beat up. And--just in case in your docile, unassuming life, you didn't realize this--that's not a good thing.

(It's a telling point of some of these romances, indeed, that one of the "endearments" a hero can say to a heroine is, "You little idiot." Followed by, "I love you." Always wondered how those two went together. But...I digress.)

Now, this also isn't meant to latch onto the common diatribe against romance novels that goes along the lines of, "These books encourage women to have unrealistic expectations of love." That opinion is just an opinion, it's debatable, and perfectly intelligent people disagree about it every day. But what this post DOES warn against is the unconscious internalization of the notion that the most desirable quality in a woman is for her to conduct her life and affairs "without fuss." That her ultimate "femininity" is defined by how placid, unruffled, practical, calm, and non-combative she is no matter what the circumstances.  

Unfortunately, some of us simply aren't wired that way.

So that even if that kind of child-woman behavior DOES pay off in some instances--and apparently, in many of them, it did, or these books wouldn't have struck the kind of chord with readers all over the globe to sell so well--it can automatically leave some of us feeling...just a little off the radar. It can make us wonder how long some of these women kept their phlegmatic calm, their serenity, and their humble self-effacement before, one day, it boiled over...and Mr. Doctor saw the "shrew" in his wife come out.

And make no mistake--the anti-heroines in these books ARE the types who are not placid. They're the ones who speak their minds, no matter how petty their thoughts might be--and their thoughts are ALWAYS petty. They're stereotypes of the other opposite, in fact: self-centered, self-absorbed, spoiled, and temperamental beyond all reasonable limits. It's as if to contrast with the quietly beautiful, serene heroine--and all the women in the book who are "nice" and who act just like her--the other side of the feminine coin is 100% "bitch." There are no in-betweens; except in extremely rare instances in a couple of the books, there are no sort-of nice girls who occasionally blow their stacks. There are only spoiled rotten little girls who throw tantrums, complete with stamping their pretty little feet, contrasted with the wise, serene heroine material, who shows up not only in the hero's love interest but in pretty much every other female in his family.

Again...the message here? The desirable--indeed, the virtuous--woman is the one who lives without "fuss." Without, apparently, peaks and valleys of emotion. And most of all, without the need to take up any space, breathe any air that might belong to anyone else, or ask for any rights beyond those of a timid child approaching a parent. In these books, the reward for such behavior is inestimable.

But in real life? Or even--shall we say it--in your novels?

I have come to the conclusion that, in many of my stories, inadvertently I've ended up writing heroines who emulate this self-effacing behavior, this milk-and-water calm; it's hard not to, when you sigh over these good fortunes and realize that this stuff sold like hotcakes all over the world. But inevitably, if you start writing people like this, you may also find yourself trying to hide the places in YOU that aren't up to this unassuming "snuff." And in the process, you'll shortchange both your fiction and your real life...for something that, in all but plaster saints, is almost unattainable--and probably isn't true either about you, where you really live, or your fictional people.

So, as the hosts say on Mythbusters..."Don't try this at home. EVER."
Betty Neels was what you call an "expert."
Her books played under a strict, circumscribed set of rules that sold well in cultures that may be alien to you.
Don't make yourself a stranger in your own skin, or in your own books, by trying to make either your own personality or, by extension, the personalities of your characters fit into that particular box--unless that's how you roll in the first place.

Or you'll spend far too much time retracing, redoing, and rethinking--and having to relearn how to write, and live, "for real."

Thoughts?
Janny

Well, It's Happened....

Someone has bought Voice of Innocence.
No, an agent hasn't responded positively yet.
But Desert Breeze Publishing has.
Long story. Short pier. :-)

I'm off to await the package in the mail that has my contract. Release date: January 15, 2012.
And yes, I should be dancing and shouting and carrying on. But I think it hasn't...still...fully sunk in yet.

More to come!
Janny

It's Synopsis Week at CWC place!

...and we're pulling inspiration from any places we can think of.

First, some nifty pictures of one heroine's name.... 

and then another's.

Why do my heroines have these names? You'll have to sit tight and wait for the stories to come out to know that. (heh heh heh)
Also keyed in the synopsis for the new version of Rainman's Bride. The one with the woo-woo. (Right, like anything I write nowadays doesn't have "woo woo" in it? But...I digress.) (Actually, one of my stories doesn't have any woo-woo in it. It's no accident that one's stalled out right now.)
My only problem now is that I need to be cloned; I have too many stories to write and not enough fingers or hours in the day to do them. This is, of course, working around the attempts to actually do paying work as well...(!)
le sigh.
Updated pitch count: 38 pitches, 20 rejects. Just got one rejection this morning. Happy Monday, non?


More in a bit,
Janny

The Mess that is Real Life

A thousand pardons, faithful readers...for my long absence here.
Yeah, I know I've promised to blog more faithfully before. Yup. Probably won't do a great job of keeping that promise this time, either.
But I'll try.
Really.
I'm thinking this is going to turn into another rambling personal insight blog instead of writing about writing and writing some more.   Just sayin'.

We'll see what happens.
Current totals: 38 agents pitched with VOI, 19 rejections so far.
We press on.

Janny

A Few Cantankerous Thoughts on Publishing...

....in no particular order. (Although they are numbered, that's strictly serendipity.)

1. Book publishing is not dead. Paper books are not dead. And paying an author for content is certainly not dead, assorted screaming meemies to the contrary. How it will all be paid for in the future remains to be seen, but there is still such a thing as intellectual property, and the truly wise "forecasters" among us know that.

2. Editors, agents, and publishers don't get up in the morning and ask themselves, "How can I make an author's life miserable today?" They like things to go well just as much as you do. And they like discovering your brilliant work even more than you like them doing so.

3. Some people will never, as in ever, be convinced of this. This is their loss. 

4. There is truly no such thing as "traditional" publishing. People who use that adjective know little about the publishing industry except in terms of bashing it.

5. You're not actually self-published unless you have personally seen to every detail of the publishing process. Subcontract some, yes. But you're either in charge or you're not. If you've paid someone else to see to these details for you, don't call yourself "self-published," even if your publisher calls you that. It's misleading and unfair to those who truly are.

6. Small presses are not automatically virtuous simply because they're not the monolith on the corporate corner. All they are, in the end, is small. With all that that means.

7. Yes, we all know, e-books are the future. They're all that's going to exist in 20 years. They were all that was going to exist in 20 years...in 1980, too. Forgive some of us for being a bit slower and more cautious about jumping on the bandwagon that many of you have apparently just discovered and/or think you have invented. We've seen this movie start before...we're waiting to see the end before we applaud it too raucously.

8. Those of us who love print would be much more favorably disposed toward e-book advocates if they'd stop talking down to us, belittling us, calling us "dinosaurs who can't adapt," accusing us of clinging to a publishing model that "doesn't work," and screaming the assertions in #1 at us over and over again, just to make sure we hear them. Volume doesn't equal veracity. Enough, already.

9. It's no coincidence that the people who protest the loudest about how publishing shouldn't have "gatekeepers" are the people whose work needs gatekeepers the most. This is true approximately 101.999% of the time. So if you think you're the exception, think again.

10. If you're truly excited about publishing my book and "being my partner in publishing success," then pay me an advance against royalties. If you don't think you'll make enough money off me to cover even a small advance, you don't believe in my book or in me nearly enough to be my partner, and you should pass on it.

11. There's an odd notion in some circles that publishers should practically give away e-books because "it doesn't cost the publisher anything to do them." Whoever started this nonsense knows nothing about either publishing or economics, and less than nothing about the combination of the two. Don't give this lie credibility by perpetuating it.

12. I still believe that I can beat the odds and be the one who sells the story people will talk about for 100 years after I'm gone.  If that makes me a fool, so be it. I'm at least a fool who believes in something, rather than being the one insistent on dumping cold water on others' dreams. I know which person will be remembered in 100 years, too. Just sayin'.

Okay, I feel much better now. :-)

Thoughts?
Janny

It's All Moot Now!

The bad news (at least in $$ theory): the day job "eliminated my position."
The good news: because I was not let go for cause, I have some severance for a limited time.
The bad news: health insurance will cost ten times as much.
The good news: I plan to make ten times as much money. :-)
The even better news: now, I can truly throw myself totally into writing full time. And this time, I have no doubts that it will work.
The even better than the previous better news: be careful what you pray for. Just sayin'. :-)

The best news of all: no more Sunday-night depression.
No more getting up before crack of dawn, whether I'm rested or not.
Amen, and hallelujah.

So if you're looking for a freelance fiction editor...here I am!
Send the checks! :-D

More later,
Janny

To Whom It May Concern: The Other Side of the Coin, Or, 5 Reasons Why You DO Want Me as Your Acquisitions Editor

Okay…we’ve covered some reasons why putting me into the Acquisitions chair at your fiction publisher might constitute Job Match Fail.

Fair enough.

But even in a situation where there is no hope of rainbows or unicorns, for every negative I can see about my “savvy” in some areas, the expertise I can offer in others—the wonderful, craft-oriented hands-on areas—goes a long way toward balancing what may be a perceived “weakness.” In short, if you can take my worldview in stride, talk my (clean) language and see “story” from where I sit, there are just as many, if not more, reasons why putting me in that Acquisitions slot would be Job Match Nirvana.

Why do I say this?

1. I love authors and I love a good story! I’m always looking for the story that takes me away. I’m always dreaming of it. When I find it, it’s an unbelievable high—and one that’s completely safe and legal. What’s not to love about that?

2. I’m a great manuscript evaluator. Remember, when I went into the Agent for a Day contest, I was looking at queries. No chapters. Once I start looking at chapters, however, it’s a whole ‘nuther game, one I’m very good at. I’ve picked Golden Heart winners (and written one myself); I’ve judged dozens of contests and critiqued hundreds of samples. People who work with me trust what I tell them to do with a manuscript. They acknowledge me in published books. Even people whose books I’ve panned have revised them and gone back and thanked me for it! Who else on your staff can you point to with that wealth of experience and potential influence?

3. I work hard, I work fast, and I work smart.  I can, literally, tell within paragraphs if something’s going to work as a story. I don’t waste time chewing over whether I’m going to hurt an author’s feelings by sending her a form rejection; I know it’s gonna hurt. I try to do it gently, not brutally, but I don’t believe we do authors any favor by coddling them, either…so I don’t. I consistently produce more work, better work, and faster work than most editors in my business can point to; when I work, I work.

4. I have vision for the “big picture” of both an author’s potential and how that author can fit into a catalog slot. I know a lot of authors who are working on specific kinds of books, and I know there are unfilled niches out there that I could—with expertise—help find material to fill for you.

5. Finally…I am obsessive about quality. An old Hanes ad on TV years ago featured a ferocious  Quality Control woman on screen whose slogan was: “They don’t say Hanes until I SAY they say Hanes.” That’s me. In a nutshell.  I will question an author. I will push her. I will demand that her plot holes are closed, her characters are understandable and believable, and her premises are plausible. People who work with me can tell you my favorite question, when working with story, is “Why?” I believe the more of those “Whys” we answer…the more satisfying a story is.  So if you want stories to be as perfect, as clean, as correct, and as complete as possible—you need me shepherding at least some of those stories.  Clean, well-written stories with emotional depth and resonance are keepers…and that’s the only kind of book I let out of my shop.

So you’ve seen both sides of the fence, you who are in Editorial Judgment Seats. The next time one of you has an Acquisitions editor run away to the Caribbean and leave no forwarding address…or join the circus…or hit the lottery…look up this blog again and shoot me a line. I’ve got a perfectly good, warm and toasty set of talents just waiting for you to use—if you’re brave enough to hire the best.

(heh heh!)

Thoughts?
Janny

To Whom It May Concern: 5 Reasons Why You Don’t Want Me as Your Acquisitions Editor

One of the few “day jobs” that would be agreeable to many of us in the novel-writing business—in fact, in some ways a dream job—is being an acquisitions editor for a fiction publisher. However, sometimes, I confess, I wonder if I’m temperamentally, or even professionally, inadequately equipped for such a position.

Why would I think this?

1. When I tried “Agent for a Day” on Nathan Bransford’s blog, I picked only one of the actual published books, and passed on the query letters of at least two that had already become or were becoming best-sellers. I.e., my sense of what the market wants is apparently zilch. I’d have a hard time convincing editorial committee to gamble on the book of my choice, when I can’t seem to tune into what’s actually selling out there.

2. I’m a contrarian by nature. When the world loved Paul McCartney, I loved George Harrison. I have failed to be grabbed by Hogwarts, Middle Earth, or Narnia; during Seinfeld, I sat irritated while other people fell out of their chairs laughing. So apparently I’m missing that gene that enables me to enjoy and connect with “mass appeal.” I’d probably look right at a future best-seller, wrinkle my nose and toss it back over the transom.

3. The kinds of books I want to read contain no “F” bombs, no sex on the page, and no nihilistic or apocalyptic endings. I like light in the darkness, not more wallowing in same. That narrows the field of what I’d put out in the marketplace considerably. (See #1 for the consequences of this…er…attitude.) Added to this that I’m a conservative and a Catholic, and unapologetic about either—with reading tastes to match—and I can see many, many places in which the corporate culture and I simply wouldn’t mix.

4. I’m one of those old-fashioned souls who actually believes that good writing and a good story should trump everything else. Therefore, if it’s a choice between Deepak Chopra’s son’s tome about lessons he learned from his dog and a new book by an author with no track record, but a wonderful story…it’d be no contest. Nothing personal, Deepak. It’s business. And stories. Which should count more than New Age nonsense of spouting “wisdom” from a subservient creature, no matter whose celebrity name is attached to it. There’s smart marketing, and then there’s pandering. ‘nuff said.

5. If it comes down to push vs. shove, I’m an author advocate. Yes, I know. All editors portray themselves as author advocates when they’re speaking at conferences and encouraging submissions. Trouble is, I really mean it…which could end up being a thorn in your side if I saw a potential unfair rights-grab, a murky royalty setup, or a contractual overreach about to happen on my watch. My belief? If we ain’t got authors, we ain’t got product, and we ain’t got a house for long. If you really grasp that, then we’d both enjoy my colorful presence on site. But I’ve seen enough of the business end of this business to know that my “colorful” attitude can quicky become dismissed as “quirky” or feared as “dangerous” before very long.

So be it. ☺

I want to still believe, deep in that place where I dream of rainbows and unicorns, that there’s a publishing house out there where my curmudgeonly temperament and tastes would be right at home. Reading PW and the like, however, makes me increasingly believe otherwise. It’s a shame…but what is, is.

I guess I’ll have to resign myself to being a house’s best-selling author instead.

Unless…

Stay tuned for the flip side of this post, coming next!

Janny

Why "Publishing"...Isn't Actually the Point

When so many of us were newbies in the business of writing fiction, we dreamed of our names on book covers. Admit it. You did, didn't you? I sure did.

Some of us did more than dream of it. At least one writer I know actually took a book cover that had a title identical to one of her works in progress, pasted her name and particulars on the cover in place of the actual author's name, and put the paste-up on her bulletin board where she looked at it every day while she worked.

It did the trick. She sold, and sold, and sold again. She's probably still selling, although I've lost track of her so I couldn't tell you for sure.

But the point is...we all have that book cover in our heads somewhere, at least in our fantasies. Sometimes we can't bring ourselves to be as bold as that author was, but we still dream about it.

What does that book cover say to a newbie?
That they've been published.
That was the dream we grabbed hold of when we took the plunge here. That we were going to become  published authors.

So how's that dream worked out? For some of us, fabulously. For some others of us, not so fabulously. And for a lot of us, not at all...yet.

Veterans in the writing biz have, at times, taken it upon themselves to tell us that some of us will get our hearts broken. Some of us will never sell a book to a publisher. Some of us will never have that book cover. They're trying to let us down gently, because book publishing is such a numbers game. They think they're doing us a service. They're not...because few of us ever think that the one who'll get her heart broken is us !

But more to the point, I think they've failed to tell us the most important part of that message: that  publishing  isn't what the business is about at all. Certainly not in this age of "instant publishing" via the Web--but even before we had such things available to anyone with a keyboard, "publishing" wasn't what this business was about in the first place.

“Publishing,” after all, is nothing more than "making something public." It's putting your words up somewhere public, attributed to an author. In that sense, lots and lots of things can be considered "published," all the way from Letters to the Editor, to this blog, to graffiti on a washroom wall...if you've signed it.

What matters, therefore, is not whether we're published authors. What the term "published" used to mean and convey is what we're after: i.e., the book is out, it's on the bookstore shelves and in the library catalogs, it's available for purchase through an online retailer or in a store...and someone pays us for it regularly.  We have professional recognition. We have credibility. Someone was willing to risk real dollars on us...and we've come through.

In other words... publishing isn't the goal. Being well-published, by a  well-respected house whose name and reputation mean something, is.

That's what gives us the book cover and its book on the shelves: a publisher sinking money into our work because he or she thinks the company will make money off it.

That's what gives us the readership: a publisher spending marketing and distribution money to get copies of the books out to the stores and into the outlets so people can give that money back  to  the publisher...and, ultimately, to us as authors.

That's what gives us the fame and fortune (!), or at least aforementioned credibility...and enables us to live out the real, ultimate, streets-of-gold pipe dream of eventually supporting ourselves through our fiction writing.

Not merely being “published” by a house that does nothing with the book, basically, but print it. Or worse, charges us to do so!
Not merely being able to call ourselves “published” because there's an ISBN out there with our name on it.
Not signing away book after book to places that may as well be black holes, for all the chance any real flesh-and-blood readers are going to have to see the book and enjoy it.

No matter how many bells, horns, and whistles some "publishers" trot out to make us feel "special"...in the end, feeling "special" isn't what this business is about. Getting read, getting the rewards for hard work, and getting (hopefully) future contracts for more work are what this business is about. Getting our stories in front of lots and lots and lots of eyeballs is the key, and there's no substitute for it.

Big, reputable publishers have the means available to them to go after  those eyeballs. That's what I want from a publishing experience: eyeballs. I'm in this business to be read.  Savored. Absorbed. To take a place on someone's "keeper" shelf.

But that can't happen with many of the so-called "publishing" opportunities that presently exist.  Ever.

There's a stubborn inverse snobbism that's been around in publishing for a long time: the conviction that "big publishing" is somehow out to "get us all," that it really doesn't like "new voices" or "new stories," and that it only wants to make money on pap and keep that pap out there. That it's, therefore, somehow “selling out” to make a work “marketable” to them, when anyone can publish anything, anywhere, now...and not have to mess with all those "judges" and "gatekeepers."

But that's a conviction we embrace and act on at our peril.

Because that conviction, while it may get us “published” in the strict sense of the word, will never, ever  accomplish what we actually dreamed of, all those years ago, when we imagined our name on a book cover.

It's an artificial shortcut. And, like most artificial shortcuts...in the end, it puts us further behind than we started out.

If we make the mistake of deciding to pursue our careers within that narrow, spiteful worldview, we might have the "comfort" of our "artistic integrity"--but we'll have nothing else real to show for our work, our investments of time and emotion and blood and sweat and tears. We'll have no readers, we'll have no money, and we'll have absolutely no respect in the business of "real" publishing.

In the end, sometimes, we may even have no joy in the writing anymore.
And in the end, I believe, that approach can break our hearts.

So, from where I sit, I believe we need to be careful about this "publishing" business, and have the guts to hold out to do it right.  We have to have the courage to face the possibility that the big brass-ring dream may  not  ever happen for us...and be brave enough to determine what will become of us if, in the end, we don't "get there."

I think that's what the veterans were all challenging us to ask ourselves. Unfortunately, judging from the plethora of really bad "publishing" that has gone on in recent years--and the beating the industry has taken, at least partially, as a result of all this slapdash shortcut-taking--many of us didn't have the guts to ask or answer that question.

And many of us are still running, scared to answer it.

But fear is never a good basis for any decision. Especially not one with the lasting implications of a publishing decision. Jumping into the wrong "opportunity" at the wrong time can end up being a nightmare...and a trap.

Don't let fear override your dream.
Don't try to short-circuit the trip.
Be willing to invest the time. To pause and consider. To trust. And to wait...a lifetime, if necessary.

The heart you save may be your own. The work you save...will most certainly be worth it.

Thoughts?
Janny

If This Isn't a Quote of the Day, It Oughta Be

"The gift of wine warms the soul and creates an experience with memories that will be cherished long after the occasion is over."

Isn't that simply marvelous? I mean, it's hokey as hell, but I love hokey, so that in itself doesn't disqualify anything. :-)

But I freely admit, I'm especially fond of the "warms the soul" part. :-)

I stole it from an e-mail from Franciscan Estates, which has gotten it into their heads that I want to order great quantities of wine for gifts, or for whatever. I DO...only most winemakers and wine merchants, for whatever reason, cannot deliver to Indiana. 

So it's kind of a waste of time to order wine gifts that cannot be delivered to...me.

I do want wine, however, and a sizable quantity of same, as I have just received REJECTION #1 from the list of agents to whom I have sent my latest submissions.

Pah. 

I don't intend to overindulge...but if you're pouring, I'll be right over. I could use a bit of soul-warming right about now.

Just sayin'.

Thoughts?

Janny

God Is Good!

...just know that.

More to come later,

Janny

Okay, Now I'm Officially Gonna Beg

If you have ever, and I mean EVER, thought this blog was worthwhile and you'd like to see the CWC continue to operate without losing too much sleep...

I have a donation button over on the side, and I would be truly blessed if you used it. :-)

The immediate needs:

--DH's prescriptions, which ran over budget

--Desperately needed work on both cars (like rear brakes, trans work, and body repair on the van PM commutes in, engine work and brake work on the Stratus, and tires for both)

--Needed work on house (everything from carpet cleaning to floor repairs)

--Spare money for groceries, utility catch-up, and medical bill repayment

Other bloggers have successfully managed to raise enough funds for, say, putting their cars back together and/or paying off a looming bill. The cars are pretty desperately in need, probably the worst need we have--in that if you don't have running cars, you can't get to work and earn the money to pay for running cars...

uh-yup.

I'm trusting God, but I'd love to see Him work through His people!

Okay, begging over. New blog post of actual value (!) to follow soon.

Janny

Giving God a Blank Check...and Other Good Ideas

Several weeks ago, I dropped the ball big-time.

I was out to dinner with the hub and two people I hadn't seen in awhile, and the conversation touched on how we'd ended up in Indiana, anyway. (That question always gets asked when you're from anywhere other than Indiana, especially from Chicago.) I responded that, while it was a question with a much longer answer, essentially, it was a matter of a) Patrick was losing his job, b) a desperate financial situation that necessitated our finding a different place/manner to live, and c) my desire to get out of the suburban nonsense and traffic and noise.  So, as I wandered up the stairs, I said to God, "Well, if you want us to live in a small town, you're gonna have to provide a JOB in it."

...and then I logged on to Catholic Jobs.com, and the rest was history.

(Not before, I said, of course, "Where the HELL is Huntington, Indiana?")

My friends were quick to laugh and tell me that was my first mistake: telling God that if He wanted something, He'd have to provide a way for me to do it, and leaving the rest to Him.

Or, as one of them said, "You see, you can't give God a blank check, because then...watch out!"

I laughed along, but I shouldn't have.

I should have stood up for my God, and what He means, and what giving Him a blank check is all about. Because the woman who gave that advice--as intelligent, savvy, and creative as she is--is wrong.

Of course you're supposed to give God a blank check.

What else is being a child of His all about?

When we're children, our parents have those blank checks, don't they? They can write anything into our lives that they see fit. And we, as children, don't have much to say about it.

Now, in the hands of good, caring parents, this blank check is no problem. 

We all know about the other kind, and we needn't dwell on them here...because that's not what we're talking about when we're talking about God.

Because God isn't that "other kind" of parent.

But joking about "Don't ever give Him a blank check"...makes Him sound like one.

That makes God sound capricious at best, and sadistic at worst. Like He's sitting up there just waiting for one of us to "put our foot in it" and give Him too much leeway, so he can pull a "gotcha."

And that's wrong.

And I should have stuck up for Him.

Not because He needs me to stick up for Him. He's GOD, after all. Like he needs me to do that?

Not.

But for my own sake, for the sake of what I'm truly trying to do--which is live my life under the parameters of "Be it done unto me according to Thy word"--I should have spoken up.

I should have said, "What do you mean, you can't give God a blank check? What else would I do for the Father who created me, who loves me, who sent his Son, for heaven's sake, just for me?"

A favorite Scripture verse for many of us is, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

But what does that mean, exactly?

Do we really know?

The fact is...when we say that, we commit ourselves to just that precise "blank check" that this woman, and so many people in our culture, abhor so much when it comes to God.

Because we're saying we're going to serve.
As in, "You say jump, I ask how high." 

As in turning our own selves over to Him, to use as He sees fit.

As in this isn't about me. It's about what You're going to do with me.

I should have said so then...but at least I can say so here. Saying it late is better than never saying it.

My job isn't to give God some kind of "marching orders." I'll take this, but not that.

My job isn't to dictate to Him, to give Him conditions, or to hem Him in. Yeah, I want to live in a small town, but not in Indiana, please. Oh, and not in the South, I hate the heat. And not in California, either, because that place is just plain nuts. And...

Because in the end, who do I think I am to even consider praying like that?

This is not to say that I haven't prayed like that, and continue to do so. Old habits die hard, and I'm as much a seeker of creature comforts and convenience as anybody, if not more so.

But as a Christian, I ought to know better. Heck, I do know better, even if it's hard to remember sometimes.

I'm trying to trust more. And the first step to that trust is being willing to see that I'm not here on this earth to fill out forms and write manuals full of rules by which I believe God has to abide or He's not being "fair."

The Scripture doesn't say, "As for me and my house, God is at our convenience."

It has to be the other way around, or it ain't real Christianity.

It ain't real anything.

So, to me, real starts with giving Him as many blank checks as He wants.

And then hanging on tight.

Not because you can't trust Him to write something good for you...

...but because what He writes will probably be so far beyond what you can presently even imagine that it'll blow your socks clean off, knock you from your chair, and send you darn near airborne.

The flight may not be what you've got planned. In fact, it probably won't be.

But it can still be a glorious journey, if you're willing to ride it out on, and underneath, His wings.

That's what I should have said.

I apologize, Lord.

I'll do better next time.

Thoughts?

Janny

A true story...which explains a lot

Yesterday, my crit partner mentioned one underlying problem we all have now and then when trying to create: the bad mix of trying to "fit our work in a box" versus trying to truly write what's in our heart, the story that begs to be told, and then worry about the "box" it'll fit in afterward. She finished up with hoping I wouldn't "hem myself in" with "Must color inside the lines...must color inside the lines..."

Little does she know how accurate that is.

True story. 

Little Janny, as a first-grader,  is assigned to color something (you're always assigned to color something in first grade. Like they have to persuade you to color?). She colors it. 

Now, Little Janny LIKES crayons. She does bold strokes. She tends to stray over lines. She tends to use intense sorts of coloring, and it's not a neat product when she's done.

Sister Rosemary, in conference with parents, expresses Grave Concern about this.
"Little Janny's coloring is very sloppy," Sister says. "Does she have fine motor control issues?"
Parents, to whom fine motor control is something you find in a Cadillac (which may as well be a DeLorean, for the likelihood of them having one), are puzzled.

Sister Rosemary explains further.
"See, she's pushing way too hard on these crayons, and the movements are jerky. She goes outside the lines. Does she have problems seeing?"
Parents, who understand word "seeing," say, "Nope."

Sister Rosemary  goes on.
"Well, to color properly, she needs to put way less pressure on her crayons." Sister holds up exemplary picture from classmate, colored in careful pastels. It's a thing of beauty. Looks like it was professionally printed.
"Like this. See? She doesn't need to press down so hard to get color out. If she presses lightly, she'll be able to stop short of the lines, and then just fill in the edges, and her work will be neater."
Parents, who think Little Janny is already pretty neat for a six-year-old (they remember her careful arrangements of stuffed toys and toy animals on the bed), are still a little puzzled. Is neatness so important for coloring at this point? She got the "right" colors on the sky and the trees and the apples, so that was good, wasn't it?

The nun smiles indulgently.
"Of course, that part's excellent. But she'll have to be neater. This sloppiness is unacceptable. These scribbles at the edges of things--does she have some kind of problem? Maybe self-control?"
Parents, who are constantly urging her to be less shy, don't think so.
"Okay. So we don't have to worry yet. But just tell her...color lightly. Not so hard on the crayons. She'll break them and wear them out too soon that way, anyway. And when she colors lightly, she'll stay within the lines, and her work will be so much better."

Parents, who attribute wisdom to Sister, go home and tell Little Janny what Sister said.
Little Janny frowns for a second. "But that'll make my pictures too light. I like the colors darker."
Parents sigh, and tell her apparently what Sister wants is light colors and within the lines. Maybe she ought to color that way. That's the "right" way to color, after all. It'll make Sister happy.
Little Janny wants to make Sister happy.

So she internalizes this...until seventh grade.
Then Sister Carmen comes along and says, in art class: "Enough of this mamby-pamby pastel stuff. That's not what these crayons were made for. Crayons were made to put COLOR on the page. If you're not pressing hard enough that I can smell the wax on the paper, and if you're not wearing out a box a semester, you're not doing it right."

By then, it might well have been a little late.
Because in many ways Little Janny's still remembering Sister telling her the "right way" to color when she was six.

On the other hand, it's probably no coincidence that Sister Carmen, who turned me loose both to speak up and be heard (a whole other story in itself) AND color outside the lines and PRESS DOWN HARD ON THOSE THINGS...had a given baptismal name of Janet.

Uh-yup.  

Sister Janet, wherever you are, when this book of my heart is done...I hope you can smell the wax on the paper.

Thoughts?

Janny