No, this isn't a post either for, or against, some Second Amendment aspect. So all of you on either side of the fence...just take a deep breath, relax, and move along if you need to.
There. Now, for the REST of us...
Recently, in some FB writing groups--and in the Twitterverse from time to time--the question has arisen about putting "trigger warnings" on our writing. So people who have "issues" won't stumble into something that makes their lives miserable, even for a moment. And the general consensus seems to be incredibly generous and benevolent: "Oh, of course we should do that. People should feel safe reading our writing."
Too bad it's hogwash.
Feel free to call me names, if you like. Everyone who's come out on the "other side" of this question has been labeled, defamed, and otherwise insulted, by people who don't know anything more about them than that they dared to say, "But, wait a minute." (A rather interesting reaction from those claiming to espouse a point of view that emphasizes "compassion." LOL)
The fact is, it is hogwash. For many reasons--but two main ones are the strongest:
1) It is impossible to anticipate every potential trigger in a reader.
Or, to put it more colloquially..."Everybody's bothered by something."
If there's one thing I've learned by being in a heavy-duty grief process--and supporting others in same--over the last six years, it's that everyone processes life differently. My grief is not your grief. Therefore, my triggers are not your triggers.
My triggers can even change from day to day, week to week, and mood to mood.
Sometimes, I can't bear to hear songs from the 80s, because they bring back too many memories of my husband; sometimes, I embrace them, because they make me laugh, smile, or dance.
Sometimes, I find comfort in rereading love letters. Sometimes, they tear me apart.
Sometimes, I enjoy seeing young families out having fun together. Sometimes, they only reiterate to me what I will never have again.
I know people who've dissolved while shopping for groceries, because their spouse was a "foodie." Or smelling a favorite flower, because it was an unforgettable first bouquet he gave them. Or trying to navigate past a greeting-card or gift aisle when it's full of valentines or other "special occasion" reminders...that, frankly, only bring pain.
But we don't tell stores they can't play oldies over their Muzak.
We don't put up caution signs at the end of greeting-card or flower aisles.
And we don't limit families to one end of the picnic area, and singles to the other.
Just. In. Case.
Neither can we anticipate what may trigger someone in our writing.
So, the only option we have available is to issue...what?
Blanket "caution" signs?
Some writers claim that the only "trigger warnings" necessary apply to scenes that involve violence--especially sexual--or abuse--again, especially sexual. But what that's saying is that certain kinds of trauma are worse, or more "worthy" of being warned about, than others.
And that's hogwash, too. Because trauma is trauma. Pain is pain. And espousing that kind of narrow, discriminatory "compassion" is just plain ignoring the facts.
Which leads us right into the second reason "trigger warnings" are hogwash:
2) It's not an author's job to police your eyes...or mind.
If you read back cover copy of a book and it uses terms like "gritty" or "seamy," or comes right out and talks about sex and weapons and crime and danger...don't you kind of know what you're going to get on the inside?
And if that reflects something of your past, something you're still healing from...
Don't read the book.
Kind of obvious, isn't it?
And no, I don't mean to be callous here. But it's come to a point in today's culture where no one is responsible for anything they, themselves, do anymore. It's always someone else's job to "protect" them and give them a "safe place"...
...while at the same time, these people rail against censorship of any kind.
Or, to put this more colloquially, "You can't have it both ways."
If I read something that's advertised as a "hot" book, and I then complain because it's sexy, who's at fault here? The author, for not warning me that some scenes may be offensive or objectionable to me? Or me, the reader, for deliberately wading into the swamp without mosquito spray and then blaming the swamp because I got bitten?
The bottom line is, we cannot hope to cover, protect, and shield everyone from everything that's ever going to trigger them. And if we can't do it for everyone, it's both shallow and pointless to do it only for certain people and certain traumas.
Occasionally, yes, we can get ambushed by something. We in grief know all about that, too. And that might mean that, temporarily, we've got to absent ourselves from the site, the page, or the author's work that did that. We might be able to return, again, at a future date...when we're stronger. Triggers aren't always forever, either.
But, again...that's our stuff. Not a culture's. Not a grocery store's. Not a florist's.
And it shouldn't have to be an author's, either.
Thoughts?
Janny
