Friday, January 25, 2008

What Do Leonardo Di Caprio and Polar Bears Have in Common?

A: Pretty much nothing, actually. (Except possibly one of them wears real fur, and the other fake?) But that doesn’t stop him from sending me a mailing demanding that I DO SOMETHING about the fact that THE POLAR BEARS ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!! (Note: the something involves money.) You know what the reason is for this imminent demise, don’t you? It’s that pesky Global Warming thing—of which he is no doubt a devout believer. Yanno . . . the same bunch of pseudo-science that thousands of intelligent researchers (and several thousand of us reactionary denial-based stubborn cusses) have managed to avoid buying into for lo! these many years, despite hysterical—er, vigorous—proselytizing—er, education—being done by celebrities (who certainly are MY trusted sources for scientific information!), Nobel Prizes nonsensically awarded, and the continuing looming presence of the Great White Whale (and certifiable nutjob) who is Al Gore? Yeah. That Global Warming thing. But…there’s good news this morning. (For all of us, except maybe Leonardo and GW priests everywhere.) There may, indeed, be a temporary melting of ice caps going on…just as there has been, on and off, for millennia. But what you will never hear about from DiCaprio and his ilk is that the Antarctic ice cap is actually increasing in size (good news for all dem dancing penguins)…or that the commonsense notion that the SUN has the strongest influence on the temperature of our planet might just be (gasp!) true, after all. This guy won’t be heard from in our national media, of course. And this guy probably won’t be up for any prizes in the near future. But in the ways that matter...this is good news all around. So brace yourself, Leo. There may well be another iceberg in your future (!). But no money from here. And with any luck at all, no money from anyone else with half a brain and basic literacy at their disposal. Thoughts? Janny


Deb said...

You mean you didn't get the e-mail from the Polar Bears Association demanding money 'cause all the actors are dying out? No? You didn't?


Anonymous said...

Every believer in Global Warming should read Michael Crichton's "State of Fear." In fact, you don't even need to read the whole thing. Just read the appendix. Tell me after reading that if you're still a believer in man-made global warming.