Tuesday, December 26, 2006

The Twelve Days of Christmas...

...have just begun, so you may appreciate these holiday pointers on how to enjoy them to the fullest! 

If you receive any partridges or pear trees, be sure to feed and/or cultivate.  
If you receive two turtle doves, you'll probably need to pick up birdseed. 
If you receive three French hens, teach 'em English, for Pete's sake...then fricassee 'em. 
If you receive four calling birds, make sure they have good cell phone plans. (And that the French hens don't get a chance to bribe them to call home.)  
If you receive five golden rings, spread them out over fingers...or toes. If you receive six laying geese, collect eggs and make quiche. (French hen goes well with this.)  
If you receive seven swimming swans, make sure you stock adequate towels.  
If you receive eight milking maids, watch out for cow pies.  
If you receive nine dancing ladies, roll back the carpets.  
If you receive ten leaping lords, have yourself a basketball tournament. 
If you receive eleven piping pipers, put them to work decorating cakes. (What do you mean, that's not what they're piping?) 
If you receive twelve drumming drummers, you are very fortunate indeed. Bring out the scented candles, have a drum circle, and feast on aforementioned fricassee and quiche. (And the frosted/piped cakes.) 

Whatever gifts you receive, in other words, make the most of them. Soon, we'll be talking about resolutions for the New Year, some things we've learned in this old one, and what to do about both of these things. But for now, it's time to pack up the tents and get ready to go back to work in the morning. So light up the pear tree (white lights are quite the thing), enjoy the company, the food, and the new jewelry! 


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